If the Lord ain't with them, at least don't let the Devil in [ for fightlikehell ]

[juststeverogers]

It's six am when Steve gets up--makes his bed and tidies up his mostly spotless apartment. Getting up early has never been a problem for Steve and even less of one when he's got things to look forward to. The tiny fake tree is still sitting up by the window, one present underneath that never got claimed.

He waits until it's a quarter till seven before he starts the coffee, and starts rummaging through his kitchen to get what he thinks they'll need.

Breakfast and faith sound like a good way to begin the day.

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[fightlikehell]

Well, truth be told where he's at not many people know blind Matt Murdock is the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Or newly christened Daredevil. "Gladly. Eggs are a go-to because they cook fast."

Physically here. Like Verity he can't imagine the path behind him closing completely. It's so unfair. And it seems that Steve has far more unfinished business. "You're helping me out, pal." Matt grins and gladly lets his blindness be the excuse to spare Steve some feelings.

"Well, sometimes worry too much. They're getting pretty good at manipulating chemicals. Sometimes you just can't get it out of taste..." for those sensitive to it. Ahem.

An open invitation? It feels like college again. Nelson and Murdock before they were self employed lawyers. "Sure... just be patient with me. I'm going to be a mess."

[juststeverogers]

"Right? A healthy convenience food." Steve is in complete agreement of this. "Speaking of eggs, these are gonna be done pretty quick here. I'll grab plates and stuff so we can eat in the living room once we're done in here." Steve has a dining room table technically, but it's sort of a second art table at the moment.

Pal. Heh. That's right. He'd be getting so much shit if Bucky could see him right now.

"Hardly. You're the one who brought meat. Don't put yourself down." The spatula is still swishing around in the egg pan, but the glorious smell of the Maiyard Reaction is beginning to waft up from the egg pan. "Yeah taste can be tricky." Steve wrinkles his nose. "They ruined bananas. I couldn't even finish the small bunch I bought."

"Then you'll learn how to clean a kitchen as well as use it, Murdock." The pan gets pulled off the stove and the burner clicked off. "Eggs and potatoes are done. I'll start setting us up with dishes."

[fightlikehell]

"Now if only there were more than trail mix or shakes." Ugh. Matt makes a face. His stomach is very much invested in eating everything that's cooking right now. He flips the stake. It is very close to being done. "Same with this. It shouldn't be all that pink. You okay with that?"

God only knows that Steve doesn't need some kind of foodborne something out of this.

"Bananas?" Now that's one thing he's never heard of. "What's wrong with bananas?"

Cleaning? Phfff. Matt scoffs before he chuckles. "I can do dishes." As though he can't do anything else. He can. "I'll be right behind you." With confidence he turns off his own burner.

[juststeverogers]

"That's fine. We cooked everything all the way through when i was growing up." He doesn't have to worry about foodborne illnesses as much as he once did thanks to Samus, but it never hurts to be careful.

"That's because it happened in the 50s." Steve starts divvying up the eggs and potatoes. More for Matt than for himself. "I asked Miss Siri what they did to bananas. The kind I grew up on died off. Nowadays the only thing I can hope for is banana flavored things and candies. That's the only thing that still tastes right." And suddenly, the reason banana candy and flavored puddings tastes so different is explained perfectly.

"You'll learn." Steve isn't buying it, Matt. You showed up and cooked a steak, you can learn how to wipe down a counter. Sweeping, Steve can see might be a thing he needs to do on his own. He gathers up their plates and silverware before heading off to the couch. Then comes back for his coffee, and to get some napkins.

[fightlikehell]

"Okay. Good. My friend back home, he is very particular. We had a cook out and I was banned from the grill." Not for burning himself. Though Foggy said he had 9-1 already in the phone just in case.

Bananas Matt has tasted and known all his life... do not taste like bananas. It's mind blowing. Also exceedingly upsetting that that's one more thing forever changed for his friend. "Oh... that's terrible. I had no idea."

Finally someone else that won't allow him to act like he's incapable of things. Kudos to you, Steve rogers. Matt finds a plate for the steak. Two big, delicious cuts. "Coming in hot." And carefully to where he remembers the table is.

[juststeverogers]

"Picky friend? I know how that goes." Though Bucky was never as much picky as he was insistent that Steve should have nicer things for himself. A nice pipe dream, but they were barely paying rent. "If he's a good friend, wouldn't he know you're capable of grilling?" Chuckle. "Though I could see how it might have made some of the neighbors nervous."

Following Steve's voice to the couch shouldn't be much of a problem. Steve keeps his floors clear of clutter.
"It was a surprise." He admits, but shrugs. "But what can you do? I like plenty of other stuff." Just, not bananas. Traitor fruits.

"Sorry. I'd invite you to the dining room table but I've kind of got some stuff there right now." Does Steve sound nervous about that? Why would he. That doesn't make any sense. "This smells great, by the way. I'm glad you let me talk you into food."

[fightlikehell]

"Only a little picky." Matt scrunches his nose at his own exaggeration. "I mean, he was almost a butcher so I'll give him that. He never liked to tell me I couldn't do things. Sometimes I think that he liked to see what I could do." Shrug. Foggy Nelson, everybody.

Careful steps because the plate is full and he doesn't want to mar any of Steve's things. On top of that, the full blind act doesn't need casualties. "So wait. They tasted better than what they tasted like now? That's what you mean?" Now he'll be left to wonder for the rest of his days about what true bananas tasted like.

"It's cool. I'll be careful." The nerves could be anything. Matt decides it might be the prospect of some real food in the living room. That makes plenty of sense. "I don't need much persuasion when it comes to food." All the training means he's got to pack it away. And living for the early years with a boxer he knows the importance of maintaining weight for muscle. All this is clearly not important in this context. Meal with a friend. And Matt is sure as hell not going to go out of his way to rub in any physical prowess where Steve is concerned the same way Steve would never flaunt his vision. Just how it should work in the world.

[juststeverogers]

"...Bucky was the same." Matt's friend sounds like a keeper. Steve's careful to make sure that there's plenty of room for Matt to sit down with his food, and plenty of space on the coffee table for him to put it. Steve doesn't take up much room, thankfully.

"Mm. This beats the heck out of Cheerios." Not that Steve has a distaste for cereal, but sometimes a real cooked breakfast is just the right way to start the day. Eggs are cooked through, breakfast is a success! "It's kinda hard to get the motivation to cook all the time just for yourself. It's a lot of mess and a lot of work for a pretty lonely meal." No wonder take out and simple meals are the siren call of the bachelor.

[fightlikehell]

"Having someone in your corner helps. Even if they drive you nuts." That's exactly what friendship is. And how pleasant that here in Nexus they've found a proxy. Matt can't ever be a Bucky Barnes and Steve can't be a Foggy Nelson, at least they're not alone.

"I'm a Honey Bunches of Oats or Kashi guy." Forks up! Matt can really appreciate Steve's knack for scrambled eggs. A big success. "Mmpmm." Give him a minute he's chewing. "You have to want left overs too."

[juststeverogers]

A proxy. That's a good way to look at it. That's what Steve has been missing since arriving in the Nexus. not a replacement for Bucky, but at the very least a guy friend that understands him. As much as he likes Amelia, Verity, Samus and the rest...he's needed this. not being alone is so powerful a need.

"I'll have to try 'em." Steve likes the comfortable silence that settles over the pair while they inhale their breakfasts. Hey, gotta eat it while it's hot. That's half the point, right? When Steve's done he'll gather up his dishes and drop them off in the sink before heading over to his dining room table and picking something up to bring back with him. He waits until Matt is done and then sets what feels to be a piece of cardboard in Matt's lap.

"I'm not terribly good at it yet, but...tell me what you think." and as Matt 'skims' it over with his fingertips, he'll find that Steve has made the Brooklyn Bridge (2 dimensional sadly) out of match sticks, chopsticks, and other bits of wood he's split and shaved carefully into varying thicknesses to mimic the pieces of the infrastructure. "Tactile art. I bought a whole bunch of audio books on it and was testing them out to see if they were any good."

[fightlikehell]

A proxy also means that every nuance of this new partnership is valid. No knowledge of Bucky other than what Steve has told Matt means he isn't trying to meet expectations. And Steve won't know the full bond of Nelson and Murdock without Matt letting on. Sometimes a man just needs a good buddy with or without the beer to go with it. No, Steve Rogers, you're not alone.

"I might have some more left. We'll do breakfast at my place soon. I'll even cook." He laughs at the thought of preparing cereal and presenting it in the same caliber as this spread. Inhaling is a good call. All the good stuff and hunger builds up pretty fast with the smells. Matt dabs his mouth and leans back as Steve clears the plates. "Thanks."

He freezes until the cardboard settles. "Sure," though he's not sure at all of what he's touching. Easy, carefully. The image comes through and a smile spreads over his mouth. "The Brooklyn Bridge." There are a lot of bridges in Manhattan but so few of them really stand out. "You did all of this yourself?" His surprise is in the execution not at all in the doubt of his friend's skill. "Jeez."

[juststeverogers]

"You can tell?" Steve laughs and it sounds so relieved. He'd really been worried about whether or not the image would come clear through touch. It felt like a big mess when Steve tried to 'see' it after everything had set. "Thank god. I was so sure the thicknesses weren't distinct enough. The audio books are very easy to follow along with, I've just never done anything like it before."

It's taken him a lot longer than Steve would like to admit to get that done, too. Otherwise it probably would have been part of his Christmas gift. Whoops!

"I thought...you might appreciate something like that. When we first talked about art, you seemed kind of sad, so..." Steve shrugs. Pauses. "I just shrugged."

[fightlikehell]

"Yeah, I can tell." Because there are only so many bridges worth recreating anyway. Matt still is appreciating the textures. How much time did this take anyway? "You did all this by hearing? Really?" It's something that Matt had never heard of before.

Ah well. Surprises are pretty grand too. Matt is not complaining at all.

"Appreciate it? This is amazing. I love it." Verity had taken him to a touchable art gallery but this is different, less abstract. Very specific indeed. Matt huffs a sigh at himself. "It just always seemed like something I was aware of but closed off to." And not something he meant to sound or seem sad about.

His smile is full blown at Steve describing a shrug. "Now I feel like I should try and make something for you." Maybe now would be a good time to stop avoiding origami. Steve would appreciate it in ways that no one else had.

[juststeverogers]

"W...well. Not exactly." Steve flushes from embarrassment. "The techniques were described in the books. I chose what to make, but didn't allow myself a reference until I was done to check it. I...assume...they would have had students make something less...ambitious. But I wanted it to be home. Our home."

"The book spent a lot of time referencing touch. Pick something you can touch, feel, and really get an image of in mind as you work. Since I have use of my eyes...I decided to do something a bit more complex to make up for the unfair advantage. ...Don't ask me how many splinters I got, either." Too many. Far too many.

"I-if you want. We're already planning cooking, yoga, and bible study together, haha. I have to leave you some time for yourself!"

[fightlikehell]

The heat of his face makes Matt's head tilt in that direction. Not the same as seeing. Just an awareness of the climate change, a sensation to flicker over his mind's eye and ripple like flames. Oh ho. There's Steve. He keeps the amusement to himself. "This really is terrific. You're an artist." For whatever that will mean out of a blind man's mouth, he means it. "Our home," he repeats softer, to himself.

"I hope it wasn't anything that's become fatal." Never underestimate the power of a horrifically bad splinter. Steve does not need those.

They do, don't they. You'd think they enjoy one another's company or something. "It's uh..." Matt smiles and rubs over an eyebrow. "It's nothing quite so sophisticated as this."

[juststeverogers]

"...I'm glad you like it." Steve says quietly, picking at his shirt sleeve. It's something to distract from looking over at it again and agonizing over the mistakes he can see. "Anyway, the audiobooks are for you, if you want them. I didn't want to suggest it until I'd road tested them somewhat. If you don't like the CDs I'll keep them. I found them to be interesting for a change of pace."

"I can carry it over to your place so you can use your cane easier." Steve offers too, once he remembers that they're supposed to be doing something other than lazing about after their ambitious and successful Bachelor Breakfast. They haven't even gotten to the thing they were supposed to be doing. Not that there's a huge hurry, but Steve would feel awful if he forgot about it over the course of their conversation.

[fightlikehell]

"Thanks again." No one has put in this degree of artistry or effort on Matt's behalf in such a way. "Now I have something to decorate the apartment that I can appreciate." Along with guests. "Oh...how about I'll take them and copy them?" Dear me, has anyone talked to Steve about how CDs can be replicated? Can he handle this knowledge?

Matt sighs happily and carefully sets the bridge to one side as he pats his knees. "If uh you're feeling lazy like I am we can have study before heading out." Just what happens when you have a delicious home made meal. No one is judging you, Steve. Especially Matt.

And here is where I admit I know embarrassingly little about religious studies ooc. Wikipedia it is!

[juststeverogers]

"Anytime." And really, when Steve says it, it's easy to get the sense that he truly means it. This is a guy who will get up at 3am to fish you out of a dumpster. Or die trying. Possibly the latter! Wow what a specific example to come to mind. "...You can do that?" Oh, Steve. He's learning bless him.

"Ahahhaha, I was just thinking the same thing." Steve laughs freely and easily. "Would you mind waiting while I clean up just a bit in the kitchen? I'll bring us fresh coffee too. Just a second." He's on his feet and trotting off to the kitchen not a moment later. Cleaning up sounds to be mostly wiping off counters and rinsing dishes to properly wash later. Then it's right back to the couch where he hands over a fresh cup of coffee to Matt.

"Where do you want to start?"

bless the internet!

[fightlikehell]

With luck, planning and the gumption to keep some things in Hell's Kitchen, Steve won't have a chance to go and fish Matt out of any dumpster. Though if there was a need, it's great to know that he would try. The dying detail though, yeah, we can't have him doing that any time soon. The way he says anytime makes Matt believe that commissions are possible. Sometime.

"Can do--?" Give him a second to catch up there. Oh yes. "Copy CDs you mean? Yeah. Computers have programs to do that if you have a blank disk or they can get the information and hold it on the computer itself." Matt hopes that he's explained it as efficiently and briefly as possible.

"Better yet, let me help." Can't just be the one making the mess even if it is small. Matt will hover to dry if he's allowed. And his steady hands ensure that nothing will touch the ground. No chipped dishes. Nothing. He's just a very... careful kind of guy apparently.

They start with the beginning. Because really that's a good way to go about it. Creation and Eden, they talk about what it's like to be given gifts like they're nothing. Nexus is a gift. Meeting new, good people are gifts. Some things that we possess aren't necessarily believed to be gifts but are.

[juststeverogers]

"Don't get too eager, you'll be doing this a lot when I regurgitate Verity's cooking lessons at you." Steve warns with a laugh as they make quick work out of the clean up. If Matt's going to help, Steve will go ahead and wash the dishes right away, and let Matt dry them. The work goes by quickly with both of them, so then it's coffee and study time.

The tone of the apartment shifts as they open their bibles. Steve stops laughing, and reads over Genesis carefully as he and Matt talk. Steve has never considered the Nexus to be a gift in and of itself before. The circumstances always made it seem much less so. But it is. Meeting the people he's met. Not having to be alone. Having a steady job. All are things he would have been lacking at home. The Nexus is a gift. And an opportunity to become a better person.

Even if he doesn't like how he ended up here, he can't deny that it's done him good.

And knowing that the Lord provides such gifts is comforting. Everything happens for a reason.

It isn't until they've finished reading that Steve changes the subject at all. He's very serious about the study.

"...I always took comfort in confessionals. Until...I had something I couldn't confess. You think you can tell them anything. And you almost can. But I hated keeping secrets from confessional. I know you can't hide from God, but the priests are human too. I was...afraid...of being judged."

[fightlikehell]

"You did say I'd have to learn." Though it was for more. Much more. And things go faster when there's two. Another perk of having a friend around.

Nexus is a gift. Something the way that opportunities are. You don't know what to make of them and it is indeed something that's all yours. It's been so long since Matt started from the very beginning of the book so it was refreshing to hear the words again. The copy Steve is reading is also a later print, no new language revisions. Just how Matt likes them too.

"They are human. I like to think that when you have taken a vow as serious as one for council that you hold it to the top most importance." Matt has in his way done his best to stay honest in the confessional booth. What's honest isn't exactly the real story. "Sometimes I think that the best confessions are between you and God. It's not orthodox but the most frank." Though now he must wonder, what on earth would a guy like Steve have to worry about.

[juststeverogers]

"..Yeah." Steve nods and dips his head low. "Sorry I brought up such a weird topic. I..never told anyone that before." He felt like Matt would understand. He's been understanding about everything else that's come up.

The words are a familiar reminder to Steve. Everything sounds like it did when he grew up hearing it. Matt is patient and engaging in their discussions. And to be able to talk about God without someone scoffing or getting angry....it's just liberating.

"Not like you could lie to him if you tried, anyway."

[fightlikehell]

Matt reaches with slow, steady certainty of where Steve sits to give him a pat on his thin shoulder. "I'm used to weird." So much more than the word encompasses. "Did you feel any sense of resolution after?" Never mind what it was that he needed to confess, if Steve wanted to tell him he would have.

[juststeverogers]

He can't. Not yet.

Even admitting that he's hidden things from the confessional feels like saying too much. He's a poor example of their faith. Never mind the times or the people, or anything else.

"...No. I felt ashamed. But...normally, I do. When I used to go." Will go again, if that Church Matt spoke of has such things. "This...reading the book again. Talking with someone. It feels good though. Feels like a step in the right direction."

[fightlikehell]

One step at a time like everything else. And Matt Murdock is not one at all to judge on these matters. He nods slowly.

"You know what's really kept me feeling grounded, safe," as far as matters of faith go, "is knowing that I'm still going to be forgiven no matter where you go or what you do. That's how it works. And it isn't about whether or not you feel worth it because really we're all lousy. You're entitled to every bit of penitence because you ask."