If the Lord ain't with them, at least don't let the Devil in [ for
fightlikehell ]
Jan. 13th, 2016 12:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's six am when Steve gets up--makes his bed and tidies up his mostly spotless apartment. Getting up early has never been a problem for Steve and even less of one when he's got things to look forward to. The tiny fake tree is still sitting up by the window, one present underneath that never got claimed.
He waits until it's a quarter till seven before he starts the coffee, and starts rummaging through his kitchen to get what he thinks they'll need.
Breakfast and faith sound like a good way to begin the day.
He waits until it's a quarter till seven before he starts the coffee, and starts rummaging through his kitchen to get what he thinks they'll need.
Breakfast and faith sound like a good way to begin the day.
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Date: 2016-01-26 01:04 am (UTC)Ah well. Surprises are pretty grand too. Matt is not complaining at all.
"Appreciate it? This is amazing. I love it." Verity had taken him to a touchable art gallery but this is different, less abstract. Very specific indeed. Matt huffs a sigh at himself. "It just always seemed like something I was aware of but closed off to." And not something he meant to sound or seem sad about.
His smile is full blown at Steve describing a shrug. "Now I feel like I should try and make something for you." Maybe now would be a good time to stop avoiding origami. Steve would appreciate it in ways that no one else had.
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Date: 2016-01-26 01:14 am (UTC)"The book spent a lot of time referencing touch. Pick something you can touch, feel, and really get an image of in mind as you work. Since I have use of my eyes...I decided to do something a bit more complex to make up for the unfair advantage. ...Don't ask me how many splinters I got, either." Too many. Far too many.
"I-if you want. We're already planning cooking, yoga, and bible study together, haha. I have to leave you some time for yourself!"
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Date: 2016-01-26 03:32 am (UTC)"I hope it wasn't anything that's become fatal." Never underestimate the power of a horrifically bad splinter. Steve does not need those.
They do, don't they. You'd think they enjoy one another's company or something. "It's uh..." Matt smiles and rubs over an eyebrow. "It's nothing quite so sophisticated as this."
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Date: 2016-01-26 04:07 am (UTC)"I can carry it over to your place so you can use your cane easier." Steve offers too, once he remembers that they're supposed to be doing something other than lazing about after their ambitious and successful Bachelor Breakfast. They haven't even gotten to the thing they were supposed to be doing. Not that there's a huge hurry, but Steve would feel awful if he forgot about it over the course of their conversation.
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Date: 2016-01-26 05:09 am (UTC)Matt sighs happily and carefully sets the bridge to one side as he pats his knees. "If uh you're feeling lazy like I am we can have study before heading out." Just what happens when you have a delicious home made meal. No one is judging you, Steve. Especially Matt.
And here is where I admit I know embarrassingly little about religious studies ooc. Wikipedia it is!
Date: 2016-01-26 05:21 am (UTC)"Ahahhaha, I was just thinking the same thing." Steve laughs freely and easily. "Would you mind waiting while I clean up just a bit in the kitchen? I'll bring us fresh coffee too. Just a second." He's on his feet and trotting off to the kitchen not a moment later. Cleaning up sounds to be mostly wiping off counters and rinsing dishes to properly wash later. Then it's right back to the couch where he hands over a fresh cup of coffee to Matt.
"Where do you want to start?"
bless the internet!
Date: 2016-01-26 05:45 am (UTC)"Can do--?" Give him a second to catch up there. Oh yes. "Copy CDs you mean? Yeah. Computers have programs to do that if you have a blank disk or they can get the information and hold it on the computer itself." Matt hopes that he's explained it as efficiently and briefly as possible.
"Better yet, let me help." Can't just be the one making the mess even if it is small. Matt will hover to dry if he's allowed. And his steady hands ensure that nothing will touch the ground. No chipped dishes. Nothing. He's just a very... careful kind of guy apparently.
They start with the beginning. Because really that's a good way to go about it. Creation and Eden, they talk about what it's like to be given gifts like they're nothing. Nexus is a gift. Meeting new, good people are gifts. Some things that we possess aren't necessarily believed to be gifts but are.
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Date: 2016-01-26 06:01 am (UTC)The tone of the apartment shifts as they open their bibles. Steve stops laughing, and reads over Genesis carefully as he and Matt talk. Steve has never considered the Nexus to be a gift in and of itself before. The circumstances always made it seem much less so. But it is. Meeting the people he's met. Not having to be alone. Having a steady job. All are things he would have been lacking at home. The Nexus is a gift. And an opportunity to become a better person.
Even if he doesn't like how he ended up here, he can't deny that it's done him good.
And knowing that the Lord provides such gifts is comforting. Everything happens for a reason.
It isn't until they've finished reading that Steve changes the subject at all. He's very serious about the study.
"...I always took comfort in confessionals. Until...I had something I couldn't confess. You think you can tell them anything. And you almost can. But I hated keeping secrets from confessional. I know you can't hide from God, but the priests are human too. I was...afraid...of being judged."
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Date: 2016-01-26 06:57 am (UTC)Nexus is a gift. Something the way that opportunities are. You don't know what to make of them and it is indeed something that's all yours. It's been so long since Matt started from the very beginning of the book so it was refreshing to hear the words again. The copy Steve is reading is also a later print, no new language revisions. Just how Matt likes them too.
"They are human. I like to think that when you have taken a vow as serious as one for council that you hold it to the top most importance." Matt has in his way done his best to stay honest in the confessional booth. What's honest isn't exactly the real story. "Sometimes I think that the best confessions are between you and God. It's not orthodox but the most frank." Though now he must wonder, what on earth would a guy like Steve have to worry about.
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Date: 2016-01-26 07:14 am (UTC)The words are a familiar reminder to Steve. Everything sounds like it did when he grew up hearing it. Matt is patient and engaging in their discussions. And to be able to talk about God without someone scoffing or getting angry....it's just liberating.
"Not like you could lie to him if you tried, anyway."
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Date: 2016-01-26 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 06:07 pm (UTC)Even admitting that he's hidden things from the confessional feels like saying too much. He's a poor example of their faith. Never mind the times or the people, or anything else.
"...No. I felt ashamed. But...normally, I do. When I used to go." Will go again, if that Church Matt spoke of has such things. "This...reading the book again. Talking with someone. It feels good though. Feels like a step in the right direction."
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Date: 2016-01-26 06:26 pm (UTC)"You know what's really kept me feeling grounded, safe," as far as matters of faith go, "is knowing that I'm still going to be forgiven no matter where you go or what you do. That's how it works. And it isn't about whether or not you feel worth it because really we're all lousy. You're entitled to every bit of penitence because you ask."
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Date: 2016-01-27 12:43 am (UTC)"This." He speaks up finally, fingers tapping against the worn cover of the Murdock family bible. "This feels good. To be looking over, again. I'm so glad you let me borrow this." No one's perfect and everyone is lousy. Steve doesn't know if he believes that really. But certainly everyone has secrets. Everyone makes mistakes. He has to learn to be a better man for them rather than being held and defined by them.
"Did you want to show me where you're staying, and the church you found? Or another time perhaps?"
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Date: 2016-01-27 03:39 am (UTC)"Yeah. Let's take our show on the road. I mean, if you're good for it." Meaning that Steve's condition is not something that Matt doubts. He gets winded now and again, right now he's got no gauge for it than to ask. It's what Foggy would do.
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Date: 2016-01-27 07:50 am (UTC)"Absolutely." This is said with complete honesty and seems to calm him down immensely. "I promise." To be trusted with this book on loan means a lot to him. Steve shifts on the couch and gets to his feet, and there's the distinct soft sound of the Murdock Bible being placed on a shelf nearby. "Definitely. I'll carry everything. Just give me a moment." Everything in this case means the replicated bridge and the cds Steve tested, so it's not as though this is going to be a heavy load. He's swift to gather them once he's in his big poofy swish swish coat and gloves.
"Ready!"
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Date: 2016-01-30 09:23 am (UTC)"Sure, of course." Matt stands up and has a coat to put on and a cane to find. "Away we go?" Out into the cold. He goes first to prop open the door and make way for the other man and anything he may need help with.
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Date: 2016-01-31 02:47 am (UTC)"So Verity's personal trainer is a bounty hunter from space. I don't know much about her other than she's really tall, really strong, and very intimidating. But she took me on as a student too. So far it hasn't been much physical. Hand-eye coordination stuff. Fine motor control. Stuff that seems kind of piddly until she explains what good it does. I got a real star pool cue for Christmas from her, so I've been learning how to play pool. The yoga thing isn't nearly as weird as it sounds, either. I think I like it."
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Date: 2016-02-02 01:44 am (UTC)"We'll head to my place, rest then I'll show you the church." And he literally means rest. The guy is carrying his art. It wouldn't make sense any other way. "I have met her. And the idea of getting another perspective on fitness would be helpful for anyone." Meaning himself ahem. "Yoga sounds very weird at first, doesn't it? I picked it up in college. Really a stress relief."
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:26 am (UTC)"I know a guy who I think would be real good at the game, so I might ask him for some pointers once I'm a little more confident in my abilities." Steve chuckles slightly to himself. "Yeah don't make her mad. I have." Steve did. Tiny Steve who Samus could snap in half? Sure did. "It was not my smartest moment."
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:02 am (UTC)"You gotta practice to get better. How else are you supposed to improve? I could come along for company." A chance to get out and listen to the comfort of bar sounds. Does Nexus have a charming dump like Josie's?
Don't make Samus mad. That is jotted down in his brain. "What did you do to tick her off?"
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Date: 2016-02-02 04:28 am (UTC)"Oh! That reminds me. Have you been to Nana's diner yet? I forget if I showed it to you. It's honestly where I ate most of my meals before I started cooking lessons with Verity. She gave me the coffee machine I'm using, even."
"Oh, uhm." Steve sucks in a deep breath. "I don't agree with some of her lessons on leadership or military strategy. And I got real mad when she antagonized me over a point we were arguin' about and started hollerin' at her. I know she was testing me an' I failed, but my temper's always been a problem and the point we were fighting over was real close to home for me. I'm surprised she didn't swing me through a building, but at the time I would have swung back, mistake or no."
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Date: 2016-02-02 10:33 pm (UTC)"Oh... with the pancakes right?" If he's not mistaken. "I've been there a time or two. Eating almost every meal there wouldn't be bad on anything but the waistline. " Such good, hearty home cooking. Matt's full right now but it's enough to get into his head to step in again.
He listens. That sounds a lot like Samus or what he can glean from what he's talked with her about. She is very levelheaded which means that when she's not it is a significant difference. "Some things you just... you're sensitive about. And being angry, well, it happens. You're more than entitled to it," says a man with his own temper issues.
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Date: 2016-02-03 12:12 am (UTC)"She tried, believe me." Steve shakes his head. "Doesn't seem to have worked though. I only look like it has because the coat's really poofy." Pat pat goes the poofy coat as Steve taps his flat tummy through the layers.
"I told her I'd take the dive on the grenade for my squad. She said it was bad leadership. That I shouldn't have let there be one in the first place. Or something stupid like that. I forget what the exact details were. But she doesn't believe in self sacrifice, and I don't believe a leader is any better than his team. We went back and forth a bit, until she called it a waste. That's when I lost my head." Steve doesn't sound too terribly torn up over it looking back on it. He's had time to study more. And while his stance hasn't changed, he does see the reason one would never want to be put in that position in the first place.
He's just realistic. Sometimes, there isn't an out.
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Date: 2016-02-03 07:06 am (UTC)"I dunno if I'd bulk up or not, to be honest. I've kind of been a bottomless pit." Especially with training. "Then again, I would never stop anyone from trying."
Leadership, teamwork... elements of working in a single group with a goal in mind. He has no military background or interest but it sounds like Steve has an ingrained passion. "If it means something, I don't think it's ever a waste," he says softly. Steve isn't sharing this for validation. "It's a bit much to say that anyone would be in control of the elements so much as to prevent the grenade." They'll be there no matter what in a war. Matt sighs and shakes his head.
"Arguments sometimes bring people closer together after. You still respect Samus to work with her."
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