Something in Common (for boldygoing )

[juststeverogers]

Steve's had a quiet set of holidays with his Pokemon in his small Nexus apartment but with the New Year over and done with things are picking up again. He's resumed his house hunting with gusto, spurred on by some advice he'd received from fellow denizens during the Yule party he attended nearly a month ago now.

Today, however, Steve's got the apartment cleared and training equipment set up again. Bucky's laid claim to the couch. It's too cold lately for him to get outside and stretch his wings as much as he'd like. Ethel's drug her bed over next to the couch to keep the braviary company. Only Sarah's overly active, running arouns Steve's feet in circles. Are they going to go running? IS he going to do inside training? Both?! Who knows?!

She positively jumps at the knock at the door.

"Grow grow grow!!!" OH BOY are there friends over? Steve. Steve! There's someone at the door!

"I heard it, already!" Steve laughs as he pulls the door open. "Hey there."

Comments

[boldygoing]

"Hey yourself." Unlike last time, Jim Kirk greets Steve with a smile and means it. Time and rest have done him some favors, but more than that, the fourth of January is done and over with 'til next year, and his counterpart is alive and well. His mood is worlds better than it has been these past few months, a glimpse of the happy relaxed captain that Steve first met at the Halloween party, before everything went to shit. It's taken time and he's still got a ways to go, but he's on the upswing, and looking forward to a proper workout session, not just punching his way to exhaustion. "Good to see you again. You too," he adds towards Sarah. Can't leave her out of it, especially when she's obviously so happy to see him.

[juststeverogers]

Steve's dressed down into a sleeveless workout shirt and sweatpants when he opens the door, all grins for his guest. It's overshadowed by the excited butt wiggle and bark Sarah gives Jim. The second he's in the door she's up on her hind legs putting her paws on his thighs and nudging her nose up toward him.

Welcome back friend!!

"Come on in. I checked the weather this morning and it's pretty mild all things considered. The park I run laps at was pretty clear last night, should be good today if you want to get some of that in. I wasn't sure what you'd be in the mood for, so I set up everything I had here."

[boldygoing]

Jim's attire is fairly similar, with the addition of a decently broken-in pair of running shoes and a light hoodie to help guard against any winter chill. It's been too long since he's properly gotten out and about, and now that he's slowly pulling free of his annual winter melancholy, he finds that he's really looking forward to tiring himself out in a good way for once.

Sarah's enthusiastic greeting is about what he expected, and he reaches down to ruffle the fur around her face, scratching briefly behind her fluffy ears. Yes, yes, good to see you too. How can anyone resist that face?

"A run sounds good," he agrees, once Sarah is satisfied enough by the welcome pets to let him inside the little apartment. "I've been slacking off since..." Halloween, he finishes inside his head, but transitions smoothly into an alternate statement with only a small hiccup, "moving back to San Francisco. Too many nosy reporters."

[juststeverogers]

A soft metallic 'don!' rings out from further in the apartment. When Jim steps inside he'll be able to see Ethel and Bucky sharing the couch together and only a little bit sulking from all the cold weather of late. Neither one of them is well attuned to ice. They at least have the courtesy to say hello to Jim when he comes in.

"I can relate to that. You want to take a run and then settle in for lunch? If you're still up for it after we eat we can do some more training in here."

[boldygoing]

Jim greets them both by name, waving a little. He still doesn't know a lot about them but they seem pretty smart, and it's only polite to say hello.

"I'm down for that," he answers Steve. A good run, a break to refuel, then using whatever energy's left to finish the workout in the warmth of Steve's apartment is probably the better way to go, even with the weather as comparatively mild as it is. Hell, just getting out and about is already helping out his mood, giving him more to do than stew in his own thoughts. "Maybe if I'm still standing when we're done, you can show me that takedown thing you told me about," he adds with a small grin. Sure, he may not be an unstoppable juggernaut or anything, but the thought of busting out surprise moves on his sparring partner is one that he's really looking forward to.

[juststeverogers]

It takes a soft headbutt from Ethel before Bucky will return the greeting but in his own time he does finally acknowledge Jim's existence with a tired 'Airy' before rearranging himself so he can watch Jim carefully while he's settled on the couch. A stranger in his home gets the suspicious eye, that's just how it be.

Seems like they won't be in the apartment for long though, by what Steve's saying.

Steve's grinning then, grabbing a shopping bag before leading Jim right back out of the apartment and toward the nearby park the building overlooks. Out here on the border of the wilds there lacks the hustle and bustle that exists closer to the plaza. A few scattered people, likely other tenants, are enjoying the milder weather too though Steve gets a look when they walk by for not having so much as a jacket on. Truthfully if he was really running he wouldn't need one. But as they both get settled on the path and break into a jog at Jim's pace, Steve wonders if that's a good idea. The bag with water bottles and hand towels is left on one of the empty benches for as needed breaks while they do laps around the mostly elliptical walking path that seems to be following the edge of a pond.

"If you're still standing when we're done, you can ask me to show you anything you'd like." Steve promises from Jim's left side with a smile. "Don't worry about me, by the way. Go at whatever pace you like."

[boldygoing]

Jim hasn't been to this particular part of the Nexus before, not that he recognizes anyway, so he takes in the scenery as they go. Odd to see this place looking so empty, but away from the commercial district and the plaza, why would tons of people be out here anyway? It's actually kind of relaxing, not having to worry about dodging crowds or keeping an eye out for holoimagers pointed his direction.

He leaves his own water bottle with Steve's stash and sets off, taking a minute or two to find his stride again after such a long break. He's not exactly going to be running any marathons, but he knows better than to run flat-out and exhaust himself in a hurry either, no matter what his stubborn pride says about him slowing down Steve. It'd be as dumb as trying to win an arm-wrestling competition with a Romulan. "Do I even wanna know how fast you usually do this?" he asks, returning the grin.

[juststeverogers]

"We'll go as many laps as you can manage." Though Steve looks a little bit surprised at the question. His smile turns sheepish. He's not out to brag or dissuade Jim from getting a good exercise in. I'ts part of why he's keeping pace with the captain instead of running at his own speed. "Oh! Uh...uhm. Pretty..pretty quick."

It's way smaller than the National Mall was in DC, and he'd run laps around that too. This works fine though, he's just got to do more laps than he used to to get the same kind of workout.

"Grow, grow!" On Jim's right Sarah is trotting along with him with her chest puffed out proud. She gets to run with the Jim friend! Yay!

[boldygoing]

After such a long time being outta the game, it does feel good to settle into a steady pace and feel like he's actually accomplishing something. Sarah's happy barks make it all the easier to keep pace, though he's preeeeetty sure she could outpace him if she wanted to, too. But where would be the fun in that?

"Bet that's a sight to see," he says, arching his eyebrows as he glances over at Steve.

[juststeverogers]

"Is that your way of asking me to show off, Captain?"

Despite his clear embarrassment, there's something close to pride underlying Steve's words when he returns the glance back to Jim. A part of Steve that doesn't like to back down from a challenge, and who likes a little healthy competition in his life.

"I tell you what. You keep going at your pace, and I'll go at mine. But I won't stop until you do. Fair?"

[boldygoing]

"Hey, be my guest," Jim says, gesturing towards the path. It's still adorable just how easy it is to make Steve blush, and he isn't even trying this time, but he knows that competitive look when he sees it. Hard not to, honestly. And sure, his own ego is probably gonna chafe so hard at seeing someone else showing him up, but he's not a totally selfish ass. Steve should get more outta this workout than just the company, nice though it is. And... hell, they're doing laps, it's not like he's gonna run off into the sunset, never to be seen again until he reaches the imaginary finish line.

Jim glances down at Sarah, running along at his side looking perfectly happy to be there. "What do you think? You wanna keep the slowpoke company?"

[juststeverogers]

"Grow! Growlithe!" Don't worry Jim-Friend, Sarah is here and ready to protect you from any dangers on the path. Menacing twigs, patches of ice. She's got this covered! Plus, having Jim around means she won't be alone too. She wags her tail eagerly and keeps up the pace.

"Don't let him slack off just because I'm not keeping an eye on him, Sarah." Steve grins just a bit down at his furry friend before moving past Jim and taking off down the path. He's moving about as fast as Jim could at a full sprint before too long and well out of sight. The growlithe doesn't stop her eager trot though she gives a big doggo grin up at Jim when he looks down at her again.

Don't worry Jim friend! Steve will be back before you know it. It's only about a two thirds of a mile later that Jim will hear someone approaching.

"On your left--" Steve doesn't slow down or spare them a look now. He's got some catching up to do and for the first time in a long while he's going to just run and not worry about anything else. Sarah barks as Steve runs past. Hi, bye! Looks back up at Jim again.

See? He won't stay gone for long.

[boldygoing]

That is honestly ridiculously impressive. Steve's shapely ass vanishes into the distance as the other man takes off at full impulse power, and though Jim was expecting him to run like the wind, it's a whole other thing to actually see it. Even moreso when Steve catches back up and laps him, looking like he's hardly broken a sweat, arms and legs pumping steadily like a metronome. And zoom, he's gone again, leaving Jim and Sarah to lope along at normal human speeds in his wake.

It's really cool, if he's perfectly honest.

Jim grins down at Sarah when she barks at him. "Now I see why you decided to stick with me."

[juststeverogers]

Jim's free to take his run at whatever pace he likes. Sarah's by his side and only once or twice gets distracted by a smell or a person walking by the entrance of the park before she trots right back over to Jim to keep up with him. And every so often almsot like clockwork Jim hears the sounds of footsteps behind him and a murmured 'on your left' before Steve passes by again. He doesn't stay pristine for long. The longer Jim runs the more worn out they both get, though Steve never slows down the entire time Jim's running.

It's not until Jim's thrown himself onto the bench to pull out one of the towels and a water bottle for himself that Steve slows down to a jog before ambling over to where Jim and Sarah are. By now he's breathing heavily and sweating as much as Jim is, but his laugh is light and refreshed as he pulls a ceramic bowl out of the bag and pours Sarah a bit of water so she can drink up too.

"You're getting better at the whole 'stamina' thing. For a while I wondered when you were gonna quit."

[boldygoing]

Jim takes a long swig from his water bottle and leans back against the bench, not quite collapsed. He's pretty well worn out, muscles burning from the prolonged exercise, but it's a good sort of pain, the kind that tells him he pushed himself well within his limits today.

"Yeah, well, I'd be a shitty captain if I didn't know how to listen to good advice once in a while," he says, shooting a tired grin over at Steve. "This was a good run."

[juststeverogers]

"What do you think, girl?"
"Grow~ Growlithe!"

Sarah's enthusiasm is matched by the laugh Steve gives her when she bumps her head against Jim's bent knee for added emphasis. Jim did so good today! The pokemon is tuckered out too and well deserving of a nap once they all get back to Steve's apartment.

"You can borrow my shower once we get back. I'll jump in real quick once you're done. It'll give me a chance to check on lunch while you're cleaning up."

Ethel and Bucky are both still curled up when the pair comes in and Sarah's going to make a beeline for them and join in on the Pokepile for a well earned rest with her friends.

[boldygoing]

Sounds like a good plan to Jim, getting up and heading back before his legs stiffen up from sitting around. The trip back to Steve's place serves as a decent cooldown walk, and he's more than ready to hop into the shower when they get there, warm water soothing well-worked muscles.

He emerges from the bathroom about ten minutes later, scrubbing at damp hair with a towel and feeling a lot more refreshed. He can't help but smile when he sees the huddled Pokemon, Sarah nestled between the other two like a living heater. Jim moves past them towards the kitchen. "So, what're we having?"

[juststeverogers]

"Tomato basil soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, and a hearty spinach salad."

Steve's got the sandwiches all prepped to go when Jim gets out of the shower and dutifully hands the spatula over to the captain with a grin. Everything else looks to be ready to go but truth be told Steve's had a lot of this prepped from before Jim showed up. Makes things a heck of a lot easier now.

"Once they've browned think you can handle flipping the sandwiches? I won't be but a couple of minutes myself."

[boldygoing]

As unexciting as salad is, at least there's more to it than just that, and that soup doesn't smell half bad. Nothing to trigger bad memories here, either.

Jim waves off Steve with the spatula, returning the smile. "Yeah, yeah, I got it." Flipping sandwiches? C'mon, that's easy. As unexciting as salad is, at least there's more to it than just that, and that soup doesn't smell half bad. Nothing to trigger bad memories here, either.

[juststeverogers]

Steve does his best to make his shower and clean up quick, as he doesn't want to leave Jim all of the work of setting up their lunch. As soon as he comes out in another pair of work out pants and teeshirt he's running a hand through messy damp hair before he heads to the kitchen again to divy up the soup and salads into bowls for them. He'll leave the sandwiches to Jim and soon enough there's a healthy no-meat lunch spread all ready to go for them both.

As he had before, Steve's careful to only take as much as he serves Jim before he pulls one of the stools around to the other side of the kitchen counter so he and Jim can sit opposite each other and have more room. With the mons on the couch it's really the only option for dining.

"I hope this is alright. I'm still learning how to cook."

[boldygoing]

All the exercise has definitely made him work up an appetite, and once Steve is seated too, Jim doesn't hesitate to dig in. The soup is hot and well-seasoned, the cheese sandwiches are the right kind of melty, and salad is really hard to fuck up beyond reason. "Tastes fine to me," Jim says, dunking a corner of his sandwich in his bowl of soup. And yeah, he'd say that anyway even if it wasn't true, but it is this time.

A little weird that Steve's plate is only as full as Jim's, though. Didn't he say his metabolism was higher or something like that? Maybe he's planning on having seconds. There's definitely enough for that, or for leftovers. "Do you cook for the pokemon too? Or is it one of those can't-have-human-food kinda things?"

[juststeverogers]

There's just a little bit of a kick to the soup to make it a bit more special, and it goes really well with whatever kind of cheese Steve used for the sandwiches. The salad's a little bit plain but traditionally spinach salads have bacon in the dressing and crumbled inside and Steve obviously left all of that out so it's just the hard boiled eggs, onions, and spinach with a mustard vinaigrette.

"Glad to know I'm improving then." Steve gives a soft chuckle as he tucks into his meal with the same amount of gusto as Jim had. He's starving. Can't help the pleased noise he makes either when he bites into the grilled cheese.

"Some stuff I make for them, but they have pretty specific diets. I want to make sure they eat well so people food is basically only for special occasions. They can eat most fruits though so I tend to keep a lot on hand."

[boldygoing]

Jim likes a bit of spice in his life, so the soup definitely meets with his approval. Definitely better than just straight boring tomato. He makes steady progress while he listens to Steve talk, making mental notes on the intel he's getting. Human food discouraged, got it. No sneaking Sarah bits off his plate if she gives him the sad puppy eyes, then. Not that she's been any less than perfectly well-behaved, but damn, if that ever comes up it's gonna be tough to resist.

"Did you ever have pets, before them?" he asks curiously. "I hung out with Hermione's cat for a couple weeks but that's about it for me."

[juststeverogers]

Steve shakes his head but is careful not to reply until he's not got his mouth full of food. He doesn't want to be rude, after all, no matter how strong the urge is to focus on clearing his plate quickly. Some habits are difficult to break.

"We couldn't afford to feed ourselves, let alone a pet. We found an injured dog in Germany during the war and nursed it back to health once. That's the closest I ever got to a pet before these three stumbled into my life. And I probably couldn't even keep them if Adia and Harrow didn't help me look after them when duty calls. It helps that they're as smart as they are, they understand when I talk to them."

[boldygoing]

Jim knows all too well what it's like to be on call like that, to know that he might have to drop what he's doing at a moment's notice and report in, no matter what he was in the middle of. He nods in understanding, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile. "Lucky them. They've got a good thing going here."

In some cultures it may be considered polite not to entirely clear your plate, but Jim clearly doesn't follow that custom, using the last bite of his sandwich to soak up the last of the soup. There's nothing left of the salad once he's done with it either, down to just traces of the vinaigrette. If Steve's still looking for reassurance about the quality of his cooking, he's more than welcome to take that as an endorsement.

[juststeverogers]

"They'll have an even better time once I'm moved into my new house so they've got some more room to move. I'll make sure to get you the address once I've got everything settled in so we can keep meeting like this and working out. It's a real treat to have a friend in this kinda thing again."

Steve shoots Jim a grin as he moves to clear both of their completely empty dishes from the countertop.

"Did you get enough to eat? I didn't make extra salad, but there's more soup left and I can easily throw together a few more sandwiches if you're not quite recharged yet." Steve doesn't need to raise his voice to be heard the two steps it takes to get to his tiny sink while he starts rinsing out the salad bowls to clean properly later.

[boldygoing]

After a couple of months to work on getting his head on straight - well, straighter, anyway - Jim doesn't instantly leap at the offer of more, his hunger sated for the moment. None of what's left will go to waste if he doesn't help eat it, either, and if he changes his mind later it's not like Steve seems likely to deny him. The guy's a good host.

Wait, Steve's not done, is he? He's sure acting like he's done. Jim frowns, a little uneasy, his subconscious picking up on something in the way Steve is behaving. "Yeah, did you?"

[juststeverogers]

Definitely not. There's more than enough leftovers there to suggest Steve likes to make enough for meals to come. Though truthfully there's rarely any leftovers left when he's finished. He just doesn't tend to eat in front of other people all that much.

Steve grew up always hungry because there wasn't any money to get a full meal. Even when he and Bucky moved in together there were many nights they went hungry or Steve lied about having eaten to make sure Bucky got enough to eat. He was the one with the steady job, he was the one who needed the strength to get through a day's work. Getting a new body had only made things worse. War rations meant even when he was performing for the shows with the USO girls there still wasn't a lot of food to go around. The actual front lines were even more scarce and the gnawing pain used to make Steve sick while he lay awake in his tent.

The Commandos figured it out eventually and used to save part of their rations for Steve whenever they could but he was so ashamed to have to take them. Only Bucky would ever be able to talk him down, smacking him on the back of the head and calling him an idiot for not taking care of himself properly. He should have noticed then, how only Bucky was able to keep up with him. Who shared the same hungry nights Steve did. He'd been too late to stop them from experimenting on his friend even by the time they rescued him.

Steve's used to going hungry. Used to all too often not getting enough to eat. When Jim leaves, Steve will finish the food he's made here. It'll be enough to hold him over until supper when he can go see Nana at the diner and tell her all about his attempts at making her recipes for a friend. It's easy to put things away when he reminds himself he can finish it later even as his stomach twists.

The question catches him so off guard he nearly spins on the spot to look back at Jim. He doesn't want to lie, but he can't exactly pretend like he didn't hear the question.

"Don't worry about it." Steve settles on instead. A non answer given with a ghost of a smile.

[boldygoing]

That's not a yes. It's pretty explicitly not a yes, and the yellow alert going off in Jim's head agrees; how can he not worry about something like that? This is Steve's place and there's plenty of food, why would he choose to be hungry? It makes no sense, and there's no way Jim can go on like everything's normal if Steve hasn't had enough.

Don't worry about it? He can't do anything but.

He manages to keep most of the alarm out of his voice when he responds. "I'm not in a hurry. We've got plenty of time." Is it a manners thing? Some cultural quirk that's been lost in the centuries separating their timelines? Or maybe there's something worse, the kind of questions that Jim would be a hypocrite to expect answers to, and he just doesn't know.

[juststeverogers]

The push makes Steve's jaw tic visibly and he sucks in a deep breath then before finishing up on his rinsing out of the dishes. The thing is, he can't exactly blame Jim and if their situations were reversed he absolutely would be concerned. But this isn't the sort of thing he's talked about to many people before.

"It's...I don't like to eat in front of other people, is all." This time when Steve looks up, it's with a much more reserved expression. He likes Jim and trusts Jim, and it's not like Jim's seen him before to understand why he's so uncomfortable. "I've mentioned it before but I...didn't always used to look like this. Or live in a very prosperous time in American history. There was never enough to go around and I went hungry a lot of days. Coming here and getting a decent meal daily was just..unreal."

But despite the hesitance and discomfort, Steve's putting together a cold turkey and cheese sandwich out of the leftover ingredients for himself.

"It's hard to move past two decades worth of instilled frugality to properly feed myself now. It feels...wasteful. Even though I know it's not. It's especially hard when I'm with people who knew me before."

[boldygoing]

Oh fuck. To say that Steve's story is relatable is a hell of an understatement. Jim's expression freezes a moment, his face paling a shade or two, even before Steve gets to the heart of the matter, the wastefulness he feels and the bullshit mind games that never stop no matter how much you try to rationalize it away.

Seeing that the other man is making himself another sandwich anyway is a small comfort, part of the anxious knot in his chest loosening, despite a whole new type of agitation taking hold. He can't talk about his own reasons. He can't. Even Hunter doesn't know it all, more than the basics of what happened, more than he should know. But he also can't just... sit here like a statue and let Steve think that he's alone. Not when his own neuroses are playing a part here, too.

No specifics. No names. People, places, nothing. Jim crosses his arms over his chest, uneasy but set on saying something. "I've gone without, before. Seen others... others too. Had to eat when I could." The less said about that, the better. It's been long enough, now, that he can shove those thoughts aside, force them to the background, well aware that they're going to come back with a vengeance the next time he closes his eyes at night. But James T. Kirk is nothing if not stubborn, and he continues, not making eye contact. The sooner he gets this over with, the sooner he can stop. "I have a... hard time, having food and not eating it. Or watching other people."

[juststeverogers]

"I thought I was doing good with it, until I got here. It wasn't really an issue with..."

Living on his own. Working with other abnormal people with similar needs as his. He had a place to belong, back in his world. The Accords took all of that away so now Steve lives here. Safest place to be, an entire half a dimension away from home. But the people here don't look at him and see Steve Rogers. They wonder what happened to the scrawny guy they used to call their friend.

Steve hasn't had to deal with that before in the years since he woke up.

"I see people who knew me when they could pick me up one handed." Steve stops talking then and takes a couple minutes to eat the sandwich he's made. Doing his best to be quick, efficient. Not to keep Jim waiting or staring at him. It's easier around the captain. He's only known Steve since he's come back. Jim isn't looking at him and wondering what happened to the man he used to know. "The way they look at me sometimes I dunno how to describe it. The eating thing was just one more thing that made it clear I was Different now. Easiest thing to fake."

[boldygoing]

Jim has never known Steve to be any different, and even though he's heard mention of it, it's still a hell of a thing to try to get his head around. Trying to picture Steve as anything other than the perfect specimen of humanity that he is now... well, it's hard, to say the least.

But the rest... yeah, he thinks he gets it. Enough of it, anyway. "Makes sense." He doesn't try to tell Steve that he's being irrational, or that he's got nothing to worry about, or that he's got to eat regardless of what other people think of him. Steve already knows all that shit. Knows how conscious, rational reasoning through the whole thing doesn't matter one bit against years of ingrained habit and anxiety.

After all, knowing that he can get something to eat whenever he wants, however much he wants, has never stopped Jim from hoarding food in every home he's ever known, no matter how temporary. It's never stopped him from completely clearing his plate at every meal, no matter whether he hates whatever's for dinner. Reason didn't get him there in the first place, and it sure as hell can't get him out of it again. Why waste words arguing otherwise when he knows all too well how little that will actually do here?

He's not quite looking at Steve - hadn't been, even before he'd mentioned the staring thing, this topic being one of Jim's least favorites to start with. But knowing that now, he definitely doesn't look up until that sandwich is gone, loathe to do anything - no matter how minor - to discourage Steve from eating his fill.

[juststeverogers]

Steve finishes up the dishes after he'd had the sandwich and drops the dishcloth over the edge of the sink as soon as he's done.

"Come on." Jerking his head back toward the rest of the apartment and leading Jim back over to the corner. He stops at the coffee table though and picks up a leather bound notebook and pulls out a photograph that's tucked into the binding, handing it over to Jim. In for a penny, in for a pound. At least this way Jim will understand.

"That was me, before."

[boldygoing]

The man in the photo is so drastically different than the Steve that Jim knows, that he has to stare at it for a long moment before even he recognizes what he's looking at. The face is the same, if a bit thinner. Something in the way he holds himself, too. But the rest... it's like looking at somebody's baby pictures, except the 'baby' is a fully grown adult who's built like a twig.

It's a hell of a lot easier to understand why Steve would be so self-conscious about the whole thing. He must've had to at least triple his calorie intake, if not more. Taller, more muscle mass... hell, even his bone structure would have to be different to support the increased weight. You could never tell by looking at him now that he was anything other than the strong, healthy human he is now.

For one brief moment, Jim wonders if Khan ever looked anything like this before becoming an Augment, and quickly shoves that thought back down where it belongs. Don't say that to Steve, Jim. "Those growing pains must've hurt like a bitch," he says instead, handing the picture back.

[juststeverogers]

"It wasn't pleasant. But I don't remember much of it. I was sort of dying at the time."

The only reason Khan's attack hadn't instantly killed him was because he hadn't considered Steve Rogers to be a threat. He'd only attacked the man at all for being the one to carry the holo transmitter Ghost had made to distract Khan and get him out into the open.

It wouldn't be the first time or the last he's nearly died for his beliefs, friends, and world. Steve doesn't regret the choice, even if sometimes he sees those pictures. Those sketches.

"Sometimes I don't feel like I'm me. This body isn't mine, you know? It's difficult to explain. It's one of the reasons I train so much. I always feel like I'm trying to adjust to someone else's reach."

[boldygoing]

Dying. Yet another thing that Jim wishes he didn't know as well as he does, the source of countless nightmares over the past year, even before the whole Halloween clusterfuck. But Steve seems like he's handling it okay, enough that he can talk about it a little anyway. Not that Jim is eager to press him for the details. That kind of shit is strictly volunteer-only, and for damn good reason.

There's a lot about Khan's invasion that Jim still doesn't know and probably never will, but honestly, he's kind of fine with that. He's seen what one Augment is capable of already; his imagination can do the rest, thanks very much. No need to pry into someone else's trauma just to get confirmation of shit he's already guessed at, not unless it ever becomes tactically relevant, and he hopes to God it never is again.

Moving on is a small mercy. Jim may not have any personal experience with the kind of dysphoria Steve is talking about, but it's not hard to grasp the idea. The guy basically doubled in size overnight, it'd be more a surprise if that didn't mess with his head a bit. "Muscle memory biting you in the ass, huh. You ever forget how strong you are now?" he asks as he seeks out the wrist tape and begins wrapping his hands.

[juststeverogers]

"Not so much anymore. When it first happened though..."

Steve trails off with a furrow of his brow and focuses instead on setting up the punching bag in the corner of the room like it had been before. There were a few times he really hurt people without meaning to. Acting and working the USO might not have been what he wanted out of the army, but it might have done a lot of good. Letting him get used to his new body in Not a life or death environment.

"I broke a lot of stuff without meaning to." He settles on finally, with a small embarrassed smile. "The worst was getting stuck though. I couldn't slip around the way I used to and I wouldn't think. End up getting myself wedged somewhere stupid. God, Peggy laughed at me so much."

[boldygoing]

The mental image of Steve getting himself stuck in an awkward place like a cat trapping itself behind a bookshelf is enough to startle a laugh out of Jim. "I hope she didn't take too many pictures of you." They had photography back then, right?