Memento Mori (Infinity War Spoilers Here, not Nexus-compliant)

[juststeverogers]

Steve's always had a rough time with his dreams.

It can be tough sussing out what's real and what isn't when everyone's a ghost of someone Steve used to know. Sharon Carter. Tony Stark. He used to dream about Peggy and Bucky a lot. Not the haunted face of the Winter Soldier, but the man Steve couldn't save on the train. He could still smell the smoke from their fires on Bucky's favorite jacket. Bucky spent a lot of time helping Steve get his head on straight again once he woke up in New York. Fussing at him for not taking care of himself properly. Telling him stories from their childhood whenever the crushing loneliness and memories of drowning make sleep too costly.

For a while though he'd nearly been better. It was easier to stay in the here and now knowing Bucky was here too. So in some ways, it's not surprising for Steve's rare catches of sleep to come with his own personal hell after Thanos. It's always that wisping ash that carries Bucky's voice before the rest of him slowly materializes back into form. His smiles are softer now. Heavier with the weight of everything they've both survived in mind. But his job is the same as it always was.

Reminding Steve to eat. Sleep. Helping him go over their plans again. Helping him find that detail he needs to get back in there and get the job done. Deep down Steve knows it's not healthy. Knows this isn't real. Knows that if he accepts it it would be too easy to give up on the real James Buchanen Barnes and any shot that comes with it of setting everything to rights.

The odds are so small Steve doesn't comprehend at first what he's seeing. The hand reaching out for him as though it had never crumbled away. The look of dawning realization that something is wrong on Bucky's face. Steve's beat to hell and barely still alive but that hand finding his shoulder is enough that he thinks he could die happy. If this is another dream then it's one he's not going to fight this time. He's so tired.

Steve drops his shield. He's going to be following it shortly as his legs give out.

Comments

[juststeverogers]

Doubtless the doctors will be less than thrilled about the super soldier cuddle pile going on but if it keeps either man from thrashing out and hurting the staff accidentally in their nightmare induced panics then it's probably worth it. Besides, at least one is making bank on the bet that was going around concerning the nature of the White Wolf and the Captain's bond.

It isn't until Steve's being released from care that Shuri herself shows up. She's had her hands full making sure her brother and King is safe and well tended for and that comes ahead of friendships she's made with the first Broken White Boy to be placed under her care.

"I was told to advise the Captain that the King has arranged a place for him to stay, but I told him that wouldn't be necessary. Was I wrong, Bucky?" She's grinning up at him while they both wait outside Steve's room while he's given the privacy to change out of the hospital attire.

[semistableman]

Bucky smiles wide at her comment. "You weren't wrong at all," he agrees, nodding. There's a part of him telling him he should be protecting Steve right now, even though they're in Wakanda. It's probably the safest nation on Earth for either of them, but old habits die hard.

"We might need a couple more solar lamps, though. I don't think Steve is aware I spend the entire day outside yet," he can help the grin. Being city boys meant that they were pretty far removed from the farm, even in the 20s. "Would the King be able to arrange that?"

Oh, the hunt is comfortable enough for him, the pallet assures that, but it's possible it'll be a little... dark. And Bucky understands the problems Steve might have with that, because there's a reason Bucky makes sure he has several of Wakanda's high-tech lamps with him in the hut.

[juststeverogers]

Shuri smirks up at him from where she's leaning against the far wall, her arms crossed. T'challa's younger sister is quite young indeed but there's a mind in her that buzzes with activity and inspiration.

"I'm never wrong. Don't worry about the lamps. I'll see to it."

They won't be able to argue the semantics of that claim for long or Shuri's confidence in tending to Bucky's hut before Steve's pushing the door open and stepping out in a pair of jeans and a teeshirt. It took a bit of help but he's lost the beard and gotten his hair tidied up again after his years on the run. It's easy to see he's a lot more comfortable in his own skin again.

"I'd have worn something more traditional if you'd wanted--" Steve starts but Shuri's already holding up a hand and gesturing to her own teeshirt and jeans. "Believe me, I know you would have. But I like some solidarity in my preferred clothing choices and it seemed like a shame to deprive any of us from yours."

Tucking a shirt too small into fitted jeans? Yeah, Shuri approves of The Look. Steve's shoulders hitch up a bit and he has the decency to look a wee bit embarrassed to be called out on it. But he doesn't deny it either. Just looks over at Bucky to see if he's got an opinion here or a barb to throw at him for it.

[semistableman]

"Thanks, Shuri," Bucky says, genuinely grateful. The girl is a genius, and has always been there for him. Hell, she's the one who was able to remove the brainwashing from his head. Bucky had been cheerful as it was, but now that he's face-to-face with Steve again, seeing the man brightens him, and he can't help how he openly looks up and down Steve's body deliberately.

"You can't rock the traditional look like I can, Stevie," Bucky says, smirking. He figures he has an excuse to show off a little, to get Steve's attention, and maybe a little bit of a flush on him.

He lays a hand on Steve's shoulder, looking up and down at his best friend's chest. "I think it's a good look," he says approvingly. "Traditional garb is looser, easier to move in, but I've gotta admit, I've always been a fan of your choice of clothing ever since you got taller."

Bucky can't help catching Shuri's gaze, winking at her.

[juststeverogers]

Now that's a look Steve clearly hasn't been expecting from his lifelong pal, no matter what honey coated words they might have exchanged earlier. He still flushes bright red up to the tips of his ears--no longer too big for his head post serum but it's still really obvious. Flirting openly in front of someone else, giving Steve the same look he only gave very rarely to dames even back then, it's all so much.

"Your damn hand me downs never fit me right." Steve grumps though he's unable to look away. "Most of my life I was swimming in 'em, then after Erskine they were too small. Only time I ever had clothes that fit me was in the Army. And even then, lot of that was pretty tight too." He hasn't relaxed his shoulders any and that flush has only deepened on his cheeks.

"Got used to it." He likes it too, more than a little. Being able to show off like he never could Before. Steve's never been big on ego but he is only human. Sometimes its nice to get attention. Just, sometimes it's a bit more than he bargained for. Like now, but like hell he'd ever turn down attention from Bucky. It's the only thing he's wanted for so long.

"I was informed by Bucky here you would be staying with him for the remainder of your rest. Try not to overdo it, Captain. If you end up back here I'll be tempted to ask how well you were getting on." She catches Bucky's wink and grins cheekily. It's enough to make Steve sigh in defeat. He's too flustered to deal with being tag teamed.

"T-that uh. That's the plan. Yeah."

[semistableman]

Bucky is more than happy to give Steve the attention he wants, smirking faintly. He won't get too into it, not now, even though a part of him thinks Shuri would actually be happy to watch White Wolf flirt with his boyfriend. "I think they always fit you just right," he says playfully. But he leaves it at that, happy to make sure Steve isn't completely embarrassed. He winks again, this time at Steve, before throwing an arm around his friend cheerfully.

"Let's get going, Stevie." It's honest and cheerful, because he gets to be with his best friend, with the most important person in the world. The hut is a ways away, and they'll need to drive if they're going to get there at a reasonable time. Sure, they could run, but Bucky promised Shuri he'd make Steve take it easy, so they'll be doing no racing back to their home today. Motorcycle seems the best way to do it, and his bike is parked close enough to the hospital that he doesn't think it's going to be a problem.

Bless Shuri and her thinking of everything, the girl has become a real friend to him in the past months. "I'm driving you back. We'll have to park a bit outside the farm, so we don't scare the animals, but it's all right. You'll get a good look at all the farm equipment we have to use around the farm." Bucky might just be in charge of his small herd of goats, but it's a job he takes seriously.