Something in Common (for boldygoing )

[juststeverogers]

Steve's had a quiet set of holidays with his Pokemon in his small Nexus apartment but with the New Year over and done with things are picking up again. He's resumed his house hunting with gusto, spurred on by some advice he'd received from fellow denizens during the Yule party he attended nearly a month ago now.

Today, however, Steve's got the apartment cleared and training equipment set up again. Bucky's laid claim to the couch. It's too cold lately for him to get outside and stretch his wings as much as he'd like. Ethel's drug her bed over next to the couch to keep the braviary company. Only Sarah's overly active, running arouns Steve's feet in circles. Are they going to go running? IS he going to do inside training? Both?! Who knows?!

She positively jumps at the knock at the door.

"Grow grow grow!!!" OH BOY are there friends over? Steve. Steve! There's someone at the door!

"I heard it, already!" Steve laughs as he pulls the door open. "Hey there."

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[juststeverogers]

Steve finishes up the dishes after he'd had the sandwich and drops the dishcloth over the edge of the sink as soon as he's done.

"Come on." Jerking his head back toward the rest of the apartment and leading Jim back over to the corner. He stops at the coffee table though and picks up a leather bound notebook and pulls out a photograph that's tucked into the binding, handing it over to Jim. In for a penny, in for a pound. At least this way Jim will understand.

"That was me, before."

[boldygoing]

The man in the photo is so drastically different than the Steve that Jim knows, that he has to stare at it for a long moment before even he recognizes what he's looking at. The face is the same, if a bit thinner. Something in the way he holds himself, too. But the rest... it's like looking at somebody's baby pictures, except the 'baby' is a fully grown adult who's built like a twig.

It's a hell of a lot easier to understand why Steve would be so self-conscious about the whole thing. He must've had to at least triple his calorie intake, if not more. Taller, more muscle mass... hell, even his bone structure would have to be different to support the increased weight. You could never tell by looking at him now that he was anything other than the strong, healthy human he is now.

For one brief moment, Jim wonders if Khan ever looked anything like this before becoming an Augment, and quickly shoves that thought back down where it belongs. Don't say that to Steve, Jim. "Those growing pains must've hurt like a bitch," he says instead, handing the picture back.

[juststeverogers]

"It wasn't pleasant. But I don't remember much of it. I was sort of dying at the time."

The only reason Khan's attack hadn't instantly killed him was because he hadn't considered Steve Rogers to be a threat. He'd only attacked the man at all for being the one to carry the holo transmitter Ghost had made to distract Khan and get him out into the open.

It wouldn't be the first time or the last he's nearly died for his beliefs, friends, and world. Steve doesn't regret the choice, even if sometimes he sees those pictures. Those sketches.

"Sometimes I don't feel like I'm me. This body isn't mine, you know? It's difficult to explain. It's one of the reasons I train so much. I always feel like I'm trying to adjust to someone else's reach."

[boldygoing]

Dying. Yet another thing that Jim wishes he didn't know as well as he does, the source of countless nightmares over the past year, even before the whole Halloween clusterfuck. But Steve seems like he's handling it okay, enough that he can talk about it a little anyway. Not that Jim is eager to press him for the details. That kind of shit is strictly volunteer-only, and for damn good reason.

There's a lot about Khan's invasion that Jim still doesn't know and probably never will, but honestly, he's kind of fine with that. He's seen what one Augment is capable of already; his imagination can do the rest, thanks very much. No need to pry into someone else's trauma just to get confirmation of shit he's already guessed at, not unless it ever becomes tactically relevant, and he hopes to God it never is again.

Moving on is a small mercy. Jim may not have any personal experience with the kind of dysphoria Steve is talking about, but it's not hard to grasp the idea. The guy basically doubled in size overnight, it'd be more a surprise if that didn't mess with his head a bit. "Muscle memory biting you in the ass, huh. You ever forget how strong you are now?" he asks as he seeks out the wrist tape and begins wrapping his hands.

[juststeverogers]

"Not so much anymore. When it first happened though..."

Steve trails off with a furrow of his brow and focuses instead on setting up the punching bag in the corner of the room like it had been before. There were a few times he really hurt people without meaning to. Acting and working the USO might not have been what he wanted out of the army, but it might have done a lot of good. Letting him get used to his new body in Not a life or death environment.

"I broke a lot of stuff without meaning to." He settles on finally, with a small embarrassed smile. "The worst was getting stuck though. I couldn't slip around the way I used to and I wouldn't think. End up getting myself wedged somewhere stupid. God, Peggy laughed at me so much."

[boldygoing]

The mental image of Steve getting himself stuck in an awkward place like a cat trapping itself behind a bookshelf is enough to startle a laugh out of Jim. "I hope she didn't take too many pictures of you." They had photography back then, right?