juststeverogers | Checking in (set after Halloween event)

"That bread smells amazing. And scones too? Wow, you're spoiling me." He smiles at the mention of Viatorus, glad to hear he's doing well and with Runa. He must just be busy.

"Room for cream?" He's pulling out a serving plate for the scones and a cutting board for the bread while he waits for her answer. There's a closet just to her left for her coat. It's mostly empty. "Please make yourself at home. Sarah stay off the couch."

It's immediately obvious that this apartment is a bit cramped for Steve and his Pokemon the way he is now, but he makes do. A studio might have been more than enough when he was thin as a wisp and living alone, but with three pokemon and his new body things are a bit tight space wise.

"Cream sounds perfect." If it weren't so cramped she might offer to help serve the food and drinks, but with the Pokémon and such a broad shouldered man, Runa decides it would be best to take his invitation of the couch. If Sarah's close enough, and will allow it, Runa will pet her a little while she waits. "Your home is lovely. It looks like it would be nice and warm during Winter."

When she walks into the apartment proper she's able to see a tan colored dinosaur creature with a shiny metal growth on her head and a large bird with deep blue feathers both napping inside. Sarah trots after Runa and takes a seat right at her feet to soak up any and all attentions the other wants to give.

Steve spreads butter on the slices of bread he's cut, plates up the scones before carefully adding both of their cups of coffee (and a bowl of sugar for Runa) on the tray and bringing it out to the living room. The one wall that sperates the kitchenette from the rest of the apartment opposite of the couch Runa is on has several large charcoal sketches of Brooklyn hanging up on the walls.

"Here we are. I'm sure the other two will be up in a moment smelling food. I'll try not to let them bother you much." He smiles softly at her compliment and ducks his head. "Thankfully it stays real warm in the Winter yeah. I'm not much of a fan of the cold, even now."

"It's all right. Sometimes I help my sister with her birds. They can be a handful," she tells Steve with a titter. Her eyes drift to the sketches hung up on the wall. "Did you do those? They're very good. They suit the room so well, too."

Steve looks up at the sketches and nods. They're so sharp--these drawings. Detailed in some places and hazy in others. Desperately trying to preserve a place Steve thought only existed in his heart when he was stuck in the Nexus. Back then, he'd have given anything to go home.

Now that he's been back, he's not so sure what he gave up to get there.

"I drew those when I was still...before I was taken out of the Nexus. I grew up in Brooklyn. Wanted to make sure I had a piece of it with me, even when I was here."

"That's lovely, Steve. They are beautiful. You should be proud." She has to give up petting Sarah to pick up her cup of coffee and sip at it. "Home is so important. I am lucky it is so easy for me to go and visit Sweden..."

Slowly, as she stares into her cup, her wistful smile starts to slip away, but when she looks up at Steve again her smile returns. "We got your message. It was really very kind of you. You weren't... You didn't get taken, did you?"

"Damn proud of where I'm from, and the people I knew." Steve agrees, looking over a wall of desperate memories. He was so lonely before. Isolated, adrift, cut off from everything he knew. Who would have thought going back would do the same thing to him all over again?

His gaze snaps back to Runa. Steve shakes his head, expression hardening.

"No, I wasn't. Harrowheart and Viatorus were though, along with so many others. I...is he alright?" Steve glances down at his hands then. "I was trying to get them back, but there was nothing I could do."

Steve's pride is encouraged with a smile and a nod of agreement. She may not have lost her home in the same way he did, but she's already beginning to understand how much home means when you're away from it.

"There was nothing any of us could do," she reassures him gently, setting her cup down and resting a hand on his arm. It's easier for her to comfort others than deliver any kind of bad news. She lets her hand stay a moment before she pulls it back, folding her hands together. "Viatorus… He was fine after the nightmare. In fact, he was very energised by the whole event. It left him with so much to think about, so many ideas." She smiles fondly, but it doesn't last.

"When he uses his magic he puts wards down, and it's in the protection of his own home, or office. When he was in the nightmare he didn't have any of that, and…" The more she talks the more worried she becomes. "Something followed him. Isidor dealt with it, he's safe again," she rushes to say. "But it left him shaken. He's seen things like that before, and…" Runa's leans closer and her voice drops to a whisper. "It really scared him, Steve."

"He was able to help them." Steve nods and it makes a lot of sense. Viatorus's whole magic deals with the dreams of others. If anyone could help it would be him. He very nearly sighs in relief, but then Runa's face falls and with it Steve's stomach.

No.

Steve remembers all too well the panic Viatorus was in when he'd accidentally gone dreaming while in the mage's body so long ago. There's ice in his veins, a familiar numbness in his fingers and toes from when he put the plane down in the Arctic. He has to flex his hands to control the panic in his voice.

"My god. Runa I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He should have done more. He doesn't know what. Something, anything. Viatorus shouldn't have to be afraid. He's lived his whole life feeling afraid and unwelcome and the panic surges to anger. Steve has to take a breath. "I want to see him, Runa. I need to apologize to him. I need to make things right. After everything he's done, he deserves to feels safe and confident in himself. He saved close to two dozen lives that night. He's a hero."

"Steve, don't apologise!" She reaches over and takes a hold of his hand, looking him in the eye, certain and sad simultaneously. "I couldn't do anything to help him, either, only Isidor could protect him, and she's done that. He's safe again. He's safe."

It's a hard thing to reassure someone else that Viatorus is safe when she's still not sure she understands why he was in danger in the first place, but she needs to try. Right now it's not his safety that's the issue.

"I… I don't know how to help him," she admits softly, sadly, as she withdraws her hand again. "He's not sleeping, and he's… distant. I try to talk to him but it's as if I'm far, far away..." She clears her throat and tries to look composed again, giving Steve an even gaze. "He needs a friend. Isidor wanted me to talk to you in person, though, to explain everything before you see him. She hasn't left his side since that night, so she sent me to speak to you."

Steve knows that look. Knows the pain that Runa must feel every time he gets that vacant far away expression. He knows all too well the sorts of demons that can haunt the mind for long after a danger has passed. Every soldier does, some more than others.

"Of course I'll go. As soon as you'll let me even." He's sat by Bucky's side through horrendous night terrors and panic attacks, held Barton over the toilet when he was so weak from lack of sleep and dehydration he couldn't hold himself up to be sick. Steve knows trauma. And he knows that all too often there's nothing to fix. You just have to wait it out. He doesn't want to see Viatorus like that too, but it isn't about want. He's needed there at his friend's side.

"What else is there to explain?"

Without meaning to, she sighs softly in relief when he says he'll help. She cares about Viatorus, and about Isidor, but she's still an outsider to them, she can feel it, and this is all far beyond her. Knowing Steve is here to help brings her some comfort after such long days and even longer nights.

She fidgets with the hem of her sleeve as she breathes deeply and thinks. "When this happened before it started as very little, but grew worse, so Isidor is doing everything she can to keep this as an isolated event. Viatorus is staying here now, in the Nexus, in his office apartment. He also has seizures sometimes, when he's too tired or stressed, but he's not sleeping. So he needs to drink his special tea and take sleeping tablets, but... sometimes he's too scared to..." She sighs again. "He's just... scared. All the time. He's a little better, but... When you see him, he won't look well. Isidor is worried about what people will think of him if they see him. I know you won't judge him, but she's worried what people will think of a Durant dreamwalker being afraid of sleeping. She doesn't want this to affect his future."

Anger ripples under Steve's skin at the thought that Viatorus' own family would judge him rather than help one of their own while he's so clearly suffering. He nods to Runa and gets up.

"Just a moment, alright?" It's not the same, the suit he owns now. Not the same as the hand me down two piece he wore despite it not fitting him when he was small. But Steve isn't that scrawny guy anymore so he'll have to make do as best he can. He brushes his hair down the way he used to wear it once he's dressed and comes back out for Runa to get a look at him. It's as close as Steve can look to the wisp of a man he used to be.

Maybe he'll find comfort in it. Steve doesn't know.

"I'm ready to go when you are."

Runa smiles gently and nods when he asks her to give him a minute. She finishes her coffee while she waits and starts to cover any of the food that has been left out. She's sure Steve will enjoy it later, but for now neither of them have much of an appetite.

When he reappears she stands, slipping on her coat and shoes again. "You look very handsome, Steve." She hesitates at the door. "I'm apologise in advance, his apartment is messy and Viatorus isn't very presentable."

"I don't know if it will help any, but if I can give him something familiar to latch on to it might help. I'm grasping at straws though."

Steve tucks his small leatherbound sketchbook into his pocket and moves to get the door for Runa while they head back into the Nexus proper. Her apologies he smiles through, knowing full and well he's seen worse but that will be of no comfort to Runa right now.

"Of course. I understand. And if there's anything I can do for you as well, you only need to ask."

"You're too kind, Steve." She smiles warmly at him before they both head out the door.

The walk to Viatorus' office is mostly quiet. As the year reaches its close the air has cooled significantly and although Runa is used to the cold it doesn't mean she doesn't do her best to stay bundled up warm. So when they reach the warmth of the building she gives a happy shiver and tries to plaster that smile firmly in place for what lies ahead.

It isn't immediately obvious that anything is wrong when they enter, except for the serious faced patron standing to one side. Isidor relaxes when she sees who it is, and nods to them. She looks haggard. Though she still has perfectly tailored, neatly pressed clothes, her hair is falling out of its bun and neither her makeup nor her stony expression can hide the exhaustion of her red eyes and sloping shoulders.

"Steve." Her eyes flick to Runa and back. "I didn't know you would be visiting."

"He couldn't do nothing after he heard about Viatorus," Runa explains brightly, touching Steve's arm. "He's too good. Now, Isidor, why don't you get some sleep? I'm back now. We can take care of Viatorus for a bit. Steve, I can take your coat."

Steve obligingly slips out of his coat and lets Runa take it, never once breaking eye contact with Isidor. He knows all too well what she must be feeling, and while the anger simmers again underneath his skin there's also pride. Being able to be here for Isidor and not letting her shoulder this alone.

He knows how much it can bend and break a person.

"Regain your strength, Isidor. I've got it for a few hours." I've seen worse, his tone says not unkindly. "We'll watch over him."

Isidor doesn't move, her gaze flickering between the two people. It's only when Runa walks over to her, puts a hand on her shoulder and reassures her some more that she eventually relents, allowing herself to be directed to the spare room. In the brief moment he's alone Steve will find the apartment silent but for Runa's muffled coaxing and the soft rustling of papers from Viatorus' study, its door ajar.

When Runa returns she takes a deep breath, smiles, and then fixes her hair as she approaches the study. She raps twice on the doorframe. "Viatorus? It's Runa. I'm coming in now..." She opens the door slowly and steps inside with a wave for Steve to follow. "Look who's come with me!"

White cloths have been draped over the furniture as though it's about to get painted, all the edges and corners tucked away nicely underneath each piece of furniture. The corner of the study that has always been brightest has thin cream blinds pulled down to allow in the light without it being blinding. It's over in this corner that Viatorus stands, dead centre of the circle marked out on the floor that is decorated similarly to the ward above his bed. The scholar turns slowly, looking between pages that hang suspended mid-air all around him. He points vaguely at some, taps others, frets and mumbles to himself. As Runa warned, he doesn't look his best. He still has his suit shirt and trousers on, but they're mostly hidden by his dressing gown, and he seems to have forgotten to put on shoes or socks. His hands come to his face again and he whimpers at something he's read, or something he's thought.

"Viatorus," Runa says, stronger this time, to catch his attention.

Viatorus' eyes snap to them and he stays stock still, staring with red eyes and through loose strands of wild hair.

The lack of reaction worries her so Runa gently prompts him. "It's Steve."

"Steve!" The scholar lets go of the breath he was holding and closes his eyes, nodding and half collapsing before he pulls himself up again. "Steve. Yes. Hello."

He's a lot more lucid than Steve would have assumed. Moving around is good. His distant preoccupation isn't, but it's a lot better than him sitting there listlessly and not being aware of them. Steve smiles warmly and waves with one hand.

"Morning, Viatorus. I thought I'd come over for a while. Brought my sketchbook, figured maybe we'd take some time and relax drawing over tea like we used to. It's been a while since we've done that."

The scholar's appearance doesn't seem to bother Steve any. He hadn't been joking when he said he's seen worse before. So far at least this is infinitely less heart wrenching than the cases he's usually dealt with in the past. Then again, the other shoe could still drop. Steve's ready if it does. He thinks he is, anyway. He's never dealt with a mage going through this kind of thing, after all.

"Runa was kind enough to come over for breakfast this morning. You really ought to come over to my place sometime and meet Sarah, Ethel, and Bucky. I'm sure they'd love you."

The wave of Steve's hand is met with a flinch and Viatorus half turns away, eyes flickering to Steve's feet. As Steve speaks Viatorus' gaze slides back to the papers around him.

"No. No," he whispers. "I've got to... to... to... My work. I... I need... my work. To do it. Work. My work." His brow furrows and his fingers tremble across pages. "The veils can't break, need to bend, need to twist, twist, twist is better. Blink, but not. No break. A sigh. C-Can't..." He whines and it looks to take effort for him to cough out the word. "C-C-Can't have a wound..."

After watching him ramble Runa tries to hide her sad expression behind an encouraging smile which she turns to Steve. Then she moves to grab the back of a wrapped up chair, but the moment she tries to lift it the entire room trembles. Every piece of furniture shudders while a tense Viatorus watches her with a sidelong glance, his eyes wide and wild, terrified. Only when she lets go again do his hands uncurl and the room falls silent again.

"I only wanted to get you a seat," Runa murmurs to Steve as she steps back beside him.

Crisis averted, Viatorus sags with relief, runs a hand through his hair, and starts his muttering again.

The flinching is more familiar. As is the tone Viatorus takes when he talks about his work. Something cold and heavy settles itself over Steve's heart and his blue eyes dim ever so slightly in pain to see this here and on Viatorus' face. He can't let it show. Holds his head high and shoulders square when the furniture shudders around them and Viatorus stares terrified at his wife to be.

"Why can't the furniture be touched?" Steve doesn't understand what he's seeing here. Why the furniture should all be covered. Is it dangerous? Steve can stand all day and then some--that's not an issue. But he doesn't understand the rules in this place nor what's likely to set Viatorus off again. In a louder voice, he's addressing Viatorus.

"What work? Tell me about it?" Will it soothe the mage to speak about what he needs to do? Steve needs to at least have an idea of the rules of engagement here. Otherwise he's going to be standing silently within Viatorus' line of sight for hours and while he can do that, he knows it's less than ideal.

"He's scared of making shadows," Runa explains in a whisper. Her eyes slide from Steve to Viatorus again. "Places for… for things to hide and crawl out from. He didn't like all the dark corners furniture makes. So we covered it all."

The sudden noise of Steve's raised voice makes Viatorus flinch again. His hands ball into fists and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before he relaxes again and wrings his hands instead. All Steve gets is the occasional glance while Viatorus talks and gestures.

"My… M-My work. My work. To get from here to there." His fingers point to his chest and then to the space in front of him. Then he waves at his head before waving vaguely at himself. "B-But not-not just this. N-Not just me, but… b-but all of me. Like… Like M-Mico-Mm-Micolash did. He didn't mean to." Worried eyes turn to face Steve properly then. "He didn't mean to." He turns away and scrubs his face with his hands. "But he did. He did what I-I want to do. He knows how, b-but he… I… I need to… to find the way myself too. My way. Th-The Durant way." A nervous laugh flutters through him and disappears as quickly as it comes. "W-W-Without a cage."

Steve doesn't fully understand what Viatorus is talking about, but he thinks he might be able to connect the dots. The world of the waking to the world of dreams seems to be the most likely. All of the people who had been drug into the nightmare had been gone physically as well as mentally.

"You want to do that with your dream walking." It sort of makes sense. His body wouldn't be left behind and unprotected, for one. But he remembers the wounds Amelia had when she got back. That he heard many of them ended up with. It's not necessarily safer, just a different kind of dangerous.

"I understand." Steve's voice is soothing now. As quiet as he can make it. This is important to Viatorus, but there's something more here that he's afraid of. He can't do his work if he's barely functioning. If he won't eat or sleep. Steve moves slowly until he's in Viatorus' peripheral vision and folds his arms over his chest.

It's the fear, Steve reasons, that is the real enemy here. And that's a tricky thing. Not something easily overcome. He knows how much his skin crawls still and his heart rate skyrockets when he has to work in cold water. How afraid he is of being pulled under. Of falling and feeling himself freeze. Fear is not something you overcome and leave behind. It's something you manage so it doesn't manage you.

"I'll be here then. I'll keep a lookout while you work." His voice carries a confidence to it. He can stand guard for Viatorus. Allow the other to focus on his work.

Waiting for any sign that Viatorus is uncomfortable and only then filling the silence as best he can. Steve talks about Wakanda. About the people, he's met. The food and culture he's learned about. Their holidays, gods, beliefs. He talks about Thor and Asguard and everything the son of Odin has told him of his home. He talks about his pokemon, and about Adia's helping to train and raise them. About his attempts to find a house in the Nexus--a bigger place for a bigger man and his pokemon.

Steve stands there for hours and talks whenever he has to. He's done this before, for Bucky. He can do this for Viatorus. He can be there for his friend. how much it helps is anyone's guess.

Steve's assessment is met with a continuous nodding, though Viatorus doesn't look at him. His offer doesn't get a reaction either. It's as if the pages around the scholar mesmerise him as they occasionally flutter from one place to another, entrancing and concerning him at the same time.

Runa gets a coffee for Steve and herself and a tea for Viatorus, resting them on the covered desk. After she's finished hers she ends up sitting on the floor against a bookcase. Viatorus doesn't touch his tea.

There are times when small distressed noises slip past Viatorus' lips, though he doesn't always seem to realise it. More obvious are the times he fidgets and flusters, closing his eyes, holding his head in his hands and trying to calm frantic breathing. The threat of a panic attack feels eternally close and it takes all of Viatorus' focus to fight it. Stories of other worlds, other countries, gods, heroes and distant cultures… help. They take him away from the gilded, warded cage he's made for himself, away from the monsters that feel like they're waiting everywhere. Steve's deep, steady voice is a welcome beacon, a life ring for a drowning man to cling onto.

Hour pass. On the floor Runa has somehow drifted to sleep. Viatorus remains standing, though his legs have started to shake as badly as his hands which flit here and there needlessly. The door opens and Isidor steps inside. She doesn't look any more composed but there's more energy in the way she moves.

"Steve," she calls to catch his attention and then beckons for him to come to her. She keeps her eye on Viatorus until Steve is next to her. Her voice is all but a whisper when she speaks. "Has he slept at all?"

The coffee is a blessed treat and one Steve thanks Runa for sincerely. It will be long cold before he's finished it, saving it for when his throat rasps for all the talking he's doing. He won't let up on the constant rainfall of stories and anecdotes whenever Viatorus seems to need them. His fear is near-palpable and Steve does as best as he can to be present and soothing.

When Isidor comes in Steve swallows down the last cold bit of his coffee and slowly takes a step back until he's out of Viatorus' line of sight and walks over to the elder Durant. He notes her drop in tone and instead of speaking up shakes his head ever so slightly.

He hasn't. Not a wink.

Checking in (set after Halloween event)

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